BDFS Newswire

Señor Bueno shocked the audience at Stinky's Peep Show on Thursday, January 17 when he sat in on a rousing set by Count Dante and the Black Dragon Fighting Society and effortlessly laid down the axe work for the band's heavy metal epic "Beware the Wonder Bra." Bueno, an incredibly strange arm wrestler and self proclaimed hip hop artist, was on hand that night as the show's master of ceremonies, but his guitar playing has sparked off a new round of debate over the identity of the masked MC with most experts agreeing that Bueno is none other than former BDFS guitarist Matt "The Ladies' Choice" McGowan.

"Who else could Bueno be?" noted BDFS expert Adam Cantrell stated from the office of a well funded think tank. "It is obvious from the way that Bueno just picked up (current BDFS guitarist) General Tom Lesondak's Hamer and launched right into 'Wonder Bra' that he had to be someone who was in Dante's band before and I believe that only McGowan could have provided the kind of 6 string pyrotechnics that were evidenced on the 17th."

Count Dante and the BDFS played to a large yet strangely subdued crowd that night at San Francisco's Justice League. The Count, joined on stage by recent addition General Tom Lesondak and Ed "Zen Machine" Faine rocked through well-known classics and new hits such as "Come to My Seminar" and "Indie Worker." After completing a ferocious rendition of the new smash "Edinburgh Castle Pussy," Dante signaled for The General to hand his Hamer over to Bueno.

Bueno launched into Wonder Bra, one of Dante's most complicated and intricate songs, as if he had played piece many times before thus leading to the rampant speculation into Bueno's true identity. While Cantrell has fingered McGowan as Bueno, other experts sharply disagree with this assessment adding to the controversy.

"It is ridiculous to say that Matt McGowan is really Bueno," Mike Miranda, editor-in-chief of "Guitar Screemer" magazine said in a recent phone interview. "Have you seen Bueno's gut? There's no way that's McGowan out there. If Bueno is any former BDFS guitarist, which he most certainly is, than he has to be Andy "The Beast" Davis."

Andy "The Beast" Davis was a fouding member of the Black Dragon Fighting Society and is the guitarist on Dante's debut album, "The Deadelest Man Alive!" which features the song "Wonder Bra." McGowan was a more recent but short lived BDFS axeman noted by many for his slender build and good looks. McGowan's rendition of the controversial song can be heard on the soon to be released live disc "The Mount of Count: Count Dante and the Black Dragon Fighting Society Live in Portland 2001." Both men were unavailable for comment.

Señor Bueno first captured the public's imagination in the summer of 2001 by losing a string of 28 consecutive arm wrestling matches to Devil Chicken El Pollo Diablo when Incredibly Strange Wrestling toured North America as part of the Van's Warped Tour. Ever since then, Bueno researchers and amateur slueths have been trying to unravel his identity.

After losing many of these arm wrestling matches, Bueno would exit the ring with his pants around his ankles and his buttocks fully exposed to the fans gathered at ringside. According to numerous eye witness accounts, the landscape of Bueno's butt cheeks were riddled with pockmarks and acne. This distinctive rear end may provide investigators with the smoking gun that they need to solve this mystery.

Click here for Part Two.

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