Count Dante used glitz, glamour and glitter to gain the mount on the 2001 Annual California Music Awards on Saturday April 28th despite his almost inevitable loss to Mike Dirnt of Green Day.

The Count was nominated for OUTSTANDING BASSIST for his blistering four-string fretwork on the self-released CD & the BDFS disc "The Deadliest Man Alive!" Dante was not only against the highly touted Dirnt but also had to contend with the Jason Newsted (formerly of Metallica) sympathy vote as well as Brad Davis (Fu Manchu), Nick Oliveri (Queens of the Stone Age), and Mona (Sammy Hagar and the Waboritas).

This year's California Music Awards was held at the Henry J. Kaiser Convention Center in Oakland with heavy support from Mayor (and former Calif. Governor) Jerry Brown. The show used to be the called the "Bay Area Music Awards," but has more recently been made to include acts from all of California. Despite the changes, the award is still commonly referred to as "The Bammies" and this year's show was dominated by its Bay Area presence with special Awards going out to Carlos Santana and Sammy Hagar and the East Bay's Green Day taking home eight statues.

Dante strode into the elegant and venerable auditorium clad in the most stunning fashion gi ever designed by Ruby's of Redwood City. The kimono was a gold and black brocade with royal crosses woven throughout its grand pattern and trimmed with the fur of a synthetic cheetah. The Count's flair for fashion garnered him attention from the stars, media, paparazzi and fans alike throughout the evening.

If there can be such a thing as an upset nomination then Count Dante's Outstanding Bassist nod was it. While all of the Count's competition were supported by major recording labels and their publicity machines, Dante and drummer Ed "Zen Machine" Faine put out "Deadliest Man Alive!" with money out of their own pockets. The question going into the evening was if the grass roots effort that got The Count this far would carry him through to victory. Could the odd alliance of karate rockers, martial arts millionaires, wrestling fans, bored systems administrators and bullied family members give Dante the gold?

Dante and his supporters got their answer almost as soon as the event began as the Award for OUTSTANDING BASSIST jump-started the show in the same manner that the Oscar for "Best Supporting Actor" always seems to kick off the Academy Awards. Comedian Doug Ferrari dragged out the wait just that much longer as he ran through the standard "stand-up comedian making fun of rock musicians shtick." Finally Ferrari uttered those all-important words: "And the nominees for Outstanding Bassist are..."

He didn't read off the nominees though as they had a slick video presentation projected onto two big screens above the stage for that. "Count Dante of Count Dante and the Black Dragon Fighting Society," rumbled through the event's PA as he was the first nominee named as the screen showed clips of the Count Dante video demo reel. The Dante promo was expertly edited by Danny of Reality Check and consisted of camcorder footage of The Count onstage and body-slamming El Homo Loco. It may have looked crude when up against everyone else's slick clips from their latest MTV cuts, but it was definitely unique, hard-hitting and memorable.

Finally, the list of nominees was over and Ferrari opened the envelope and said...

"MIKE DIRNT of GREEN DAY!"

This leadoff win began an avalanche of victories for the East Bay punk rock band. Their sweep of every award they were nominated for was rivaled only by Journey's Bammies domination from the early 1980s.

The Count was down by the defeat but not out as he would have many more chances to shine throughout the night.

After the show's intermission, Count Dante presented the award for OUTSTANDING MODERN ROCK ALBUM with his esteemed colleague, wrestling announcer Allan Bolte. That Dante/Bolte chemistry, familiar to Incredibly Strange Wrestling fans, ignited the stage and was one of the gala's highlights.

Preceeding the Bolte and the Count's grand stage entrance, MC Huey Lewis gave the ISW commentary team a flattering introduction.

"Sometimes you want a little sizzle with your music, that mysterious thing called mojo," Lewis said from the podium. "Our next presenter has that in spades. Count Dante is a big man with a big message. Those who have seen his kung fu rock and roll success seminar are better people for it. He also hosts and participates in Incredibly Strange Wrestling which, if you've never seen it, is wrestling, only strange and incredible. Joining him is his co-announcer at ringside, a wrestling fixture in the Bay Area for over 20 years -- A Bay Area Legend. Get ready to rumble. Allan Bolte and Count Dante!"

Bolte and Dante strode onto the stage with full confidence. This was an easy crowd for the duo for no one was hurling tortillas at them.

"Let's hear it for REDWOOD CITY ROCK CITY!" Dante bellowed as all of the red-hot rockers who were there to see Sammy Hagar cheered wildly.

Then, Allan Bolte said, "And I know there's some Incredibly Strange Wrestling fans out there." This elicited a standing ovation from Green Day's table.

Dante then launched into his most impassioned, Flair-like speech ever. "Tonight, whether I tasted the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat, I was going to go down looking good and shining bright!"

"Well you know, Count Dante," Bolte interrupted, "If you would have won then they would have demanded a recount."

"Well, call me the Al Gore of Rock and Roll." The Count quickly replied.

Attention was then turned to the video reel announcing the nominees. The ISW ring announcing team opened the envelope and announced that the winner was Incubus. Incubus wasn't in attendance but they did have a video acceptance speech. The two presenters accepted the award on the band's behalf.

After this stirring presentation, Mike Dirnt met with the Count in an historic summit. The two titans of Bay Area Bass guitar discussed such pressing global concerns as what kind of bass rig they used and the popularity-contest nature of awards shows. The meeting was more than cordial and signaled a thaw in Dante/Dirnt relations and there was even talk of the establishment of "Most Favored Bassist" trading status.

Other celebs pulled into Count Dante's mesmerizing orbit included Tom Johnston and Keith Knudsen of The Doobie Brothers ("Which Doobie You be" as Rerun would say), Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine and Billy Joe Armstrong. The Count was also introduced to Sammy Hagar and his drummer David Lauser by Ruby of Redwood City who knew the Red Rocker long before she started cranking out the Count's kimonos.

"We couldn't afford her when we knew her." Hagar said as he marveled at CD's attire.

"I like you, man." Lauser added. "You have a lot of balls to wear an outfit like that."

Count Dante and Contessa Dana (who was equally stunning in her pink snakeskin, sequined gown custom made by Creature of San Francisco) were also mobbed by the press at every turn. Dante was interviewed by KGO Newstalk AM 810 (San Francisco) and the #1 rated news show in the Bay Area The Channel 2 10 O'Clock News (KTVU, Oakland).

The Count also cut some promos for Concord, Calif. radio station KVHS 90.5 The Edge. Dante met with KVHS personalities Penny Dredful and Sean Horan who are spinning "The Deadliest Man Alive!" a lot on their "Local Band Show" and thus furthering Dante's bid to become The Count of Contra Costa!

The festivities ended with Sammy Hagar belting out the blues with Little Feat followed by the Doobies playing "Listen to the Music."

The show didn't stop there, as Green Day, maybe goaded into action by Sammy Hagar's passionate "Spirit of Rock" speech, took the stage and cranked out "Waiting" and "When I Come Around" as audience members crowded around the stage.

KICU Action 36 is airing the Awards show on Saturday May 5 at 8pm and KTVU Ch. 2 is rerunning the show at 1:30 on Sunday May 6 following the Giants Game. Tune in to see The Count's bittersweet moment of media triumph!

BAMMIE LINKS

The San Francisco Chronicle, April 30, 2001: Joel Selvin doesn't even mention the Count in this piece! What's up with that?

There is also a pic of The Count and Contessa Dana on the Channel 2 website at Bayinsider.com. They didn't bother to caption it, but at least they put it there as a testament to the power of fashion.

We should all be careful what we wish for however. Because, according to the captions this guy is a member of Green Day! They must have signed him on during the show! For this to be true, the East Bay Boys must have been drunk with power after their Bammie sweep. If you run and click through the photo gallery you will find pics of Dirnt accepting the hotly-contested Bassist Bammie and Reality Check's Dragon Dave interviewing Jackson Browne!

The Count will also be posting his personal account of the Bammies on his Yahoo Fanclub so JOIN TODAY!!!