This is the IMMORTAL COUNT DANTE, on the road coming at you from the VAN'S WARPED TOUR where INCREDIBLY STRANGE WRESTLING has confused, enraged, baffled, upset and entertained mobs of mallternative skatepunks and buffed out homophobic football jocks!

Our first two stops were in Phoenix and Vega$ where the temperature topped 105 degrees! The Sasquatch was severely stressed by this, for he was pulled way out of his natural habitat! Many of the ISW wrestlers were feeling the heat, for they had to wrestle on pavement that was hot enough to fry an egg on. Gasp! Choke.

Still, the show must go on -- and it did! The best part about this tour so far, is seeing the looks on people's faces when the Cruiser comes out (well he was already out) for his wrestling matches. All of the young women at ringside laugh at his prance/walk and all of the guys look shocked, disgusted and outraged at the sight of the leather man from Folsom St. Many people in the audience yell "Kill the fag!" at him just like James Hetfield of Metallica did at the Fillmore in 1999. Hetfield must be like a god to these people. You know, they have a "Stop Racism" tent here at the Warped Tour, but what I really think they need is a "STOP HOMOPHOBIA" tent! I think a lot of these jock crackers at ringside are having feelings for men that they never knew they had before when they take a gander at Cruiser's perfectly tanned physique.

ISW also has a new wrestler on this roadtrip! HE'S FROM MEXICO! HE'S HIGH ON ECSTACY! THEY CALL HIM MEXTACY!!! Yes he's our very first Raver wrestler! Nine will get you ten that the WWF will have a raver wrestler in about 2 weeks now.

Another strange, strange thing that has happened on this roadtrip is that TEEN PEOPLE interviewed 69 DEGREES! Is this a matter of life imitating art? You be the judge. After 69's match in Vega$, 11 year old girls kept banging on the door of the ISW bus wanting to talk to "that cute wrestler." This is no lie. Hordes of young gals are just clamouring to converse with BAD BOY COREY of 69. It had to happen and it has.

Another highlight from the road involving those Scientologist Singing Sensations is that yesterday, due to space constraints, the boys had to sing their song "When I Reach Out to You" from the actual Ernie Ball Stage at the Warped Tour. Many passers by looked at the stage as if they thought that 69 were actually a musical act hired by Warped! This is too too good.

Young kids have also been flocking to the ISW stars. In Vega$, El Pollo Diablo had to have his picture taken with an admiring 4 year old while El Cruiser was given some ring advice by a 9 year old with a pink mohawk. "Don't go to the ropes," The lad advised Cruiser, "because that is where he can get you."

I am very proud to be part of the only truly subversive entertainment on this whole roadshow. Everything is going great. We are playing San Diego tomorrow, followed by LA, Ventura and then SF on Saturday. It will be good to be back home for a day!

California Uber Alles,
Count Dante