Wednesday July 24, 2002

WWW.COUNT-DANTE.COM's record smashing high 1758 hits on Tuesday spurred a stampede on Wall Street today as investor's now armed with THE COUNT'S DEADLY BUSINESS SECRETS picked up blue chips at record low prices.

Mr. Dante's message of employing DEADLY BONE-BREAKING, EYE GOUGING TECHNIQUES to use the STOCK MARKET'S OWN MOMENTUM AGAINST ITSELF obviously had an effect on investors as the Dow gained a whopping 488.95 points or 6.35% of its volume.

Still major investment houses remain cautious citing today's WWW.COUNT-DANTE.COM web traffic statistics.

"The Count's site currently only has 77 hits," John Vannucci of Millbrae told this reporter. "This has to be a disappointment not only for Count Dante but for global capitalism itself! The street cannot sustain the kind of growth it had today while WWW.COUNT-DANTE.COM only receives double digit hits."

Still, other Count watchers are more optimistic.

"There are a lot of e-commerce sites that would kill for the kind of numbers that Count Dante is pulling in right now," expert John Cooper said pointing out that 77 hits is WWW.COUNT-DANTE.COM's 3rd biggest day ever.

Yesterday, the Count Dante's web portal received an amazing 1758 hits after major shaper of "e-pinions" www.bbspot.com linked to www.count-dante.com. This totally obliterated the Count's previous high water mark of 109 hits received on Sunday, September 1, 2001 after Father Dan Kelly posted a link to Dante's site on www.memepool.com. This incredible influx of web traffic started when a link to Count Dante's site appeared on a DC Comics internet message board in a raging debate concerning nuclear submarines and martial arts instruction manuals purchased through comic book advertisements. Previously, www.sfeagle.com supplied Dante's site with most of its non-search engine hits.

Count Dante's website traffic data is supplied via an evil Ashcroftian web tracker that invades privacy and tramples all over our civil rights.